Exclusive Interview With Simone Simone

We here at BYE! are delighted to being you an interview with the first housemate evicted from Big Brother, Simone Simone.



Shadwell Bloopants: Simone, how surprised were you over your surprise eviction that surprisingly happened last Wednesday?
Simone Simone: Not at all. My psychic powers told me that it was going to happen. In the exact moment. In the exact same way.

SB: Your psychic powers seemed to fail you when you entered the house, with your disgust at the house in face being a disused brothel with gloryholes. Why did that upset you so much?
SS: The spirits had lied to me.

SB: The challenge that got you evicted was a crazy one. What was going through your mind during the challenge?
SS: Mainly blood.

SB: Who were your friends and enemies in the house?
SS:Friends? I had none. They were all idiots. And racists. Especially spider-man.

SB: Really? Tell us more.
SS: He once tried to step on Harry for having grey fur.

SB: You mentioned to Bruce about camels hating you, before you broke down into tears. What's the whole story behind you and camels?
SS:My step-father was a camel. When my mother was out of the house, he would molest me. It was an ordeal. But I pulled through. But then when I was older, I swore on my life that each and every camel would be slain. By my hands. Or gun.

SB: Since you weren't in the house long we didn't get to know you well. Tell us more about the person that is Simone Simone.
SS: Well I was born and raised in Edinburgh... my interests include cats, philosophy, politics, swimming and lightsabers. I'm quite a friendly person... but people get scared by my name and run off. I'm very sad.

SB: Being the first booted out of the house can't be helping your sadness.
SS: I didn't mind. I already knew. Psychic powers, see?

SB: But of course. What's the current status in your love life?
SS: I love life.

SB: Will you continue to watch Big Brother this year?
SS: Will I watch what?

SB: The tv show you just appeared on.
SS: Wait... I was on TV?

SB: You sure were. What did you think was happening?
SS: Why are you asking me these questions?

SB: Because the wonderful readers of BYE! are Big Brother fans and want to learn more about the housemates.
SS: Oh... I'm cold... can I go home now? Please.

SB:Sure. Enjoy your photoshoot with Nuts Magazine before fading back into obscurity and thanks for your time.
SS: Bye bye BYE!