BYE! - BIG BROTHER SPECIAL (intro)

Oh god it's that important event! It has been heavily advertised, it involves voting and greatly effects our lives... wait, what European elections? Fuck that. I believe I was referring to the new series of Big Brother! How positively exciting.

Here is an exclusive BYE! section made especially for the new series of BB. Keep checking back regularly for new updates on the show. Here we will introduce the newest contestants.















Name: Angela Diddlesbum
Age: 23
Gender: F
Info: Optimist. Pretty. Bubbly personality. Average intelligence. Loved by all. Known serial killer.












Name: Steven Jonatiple
Age: 67
Gender: M
Info: Fought in the war. Has dementia. Thinks he is still in the war.










Name: Rainforest Humps
Age: 45
Gender: M
Info: Hippie. Dull. American. Dislikeable. Has been known to penetrate voles.










Name: Steph Spigglesweed
Age: 34
Gender: F
Info: Pornstar. First known woman ever to be anally penetrated with a politician's head while riding a unicycle. And survive.













Name: Spider-man
Age: ??
Gender: M
Info: Superhuman strength stamina, speed, agility, reflexes, durability and equilibrium. Web slinging Precognitive spider sense. Ability to cling to most surfaces. Makes a mean omelette.










Name: John Rafferty
Age: 0.45
Gender: M
Info: Likes to suck nipples and shit himself.













Name: Sarah Dooblinger
Age: 36
Gender: ??
Info: Transexual. Used to be a man. Who used to be a woman. Who used to be a man. etc. Original species unknown. Is a Nazi.










Name: Jayne Willisworth
Age: 27
Gender: F
Info: Fat. Ugly. Whiney. Claims to be able to fly. Has yet to be proven.











Name: Harry (surname unknown)
Age: 2
Gender: M
Info: Likes to eat cheese.













Name: Count Arthur Ramsyourbottom
Age: 19
Gender: M
Info: Likes to eat cheese.













Name: Jeremy Kyle
Age: 43
Gender: M
Info: Scumbag in general. Enjoys goading ugly people with family issues to shout a lot.













Name: Dani Bibblesworth
Age: 21
Gender: F
Info: Former heron addict. Recently came out of rehab to kick her bird problem.












Name: Edna Sherrywinkle
Age: 89
Gender: F
Info: Loving grandmother. Kind. Old. May die.











Name: Q2E-FT5-99999
Age: X
Gender: N/A
Info: Made of metal. Enojoys cleaning, extermination and time travel.










Name: Bruce Koala
Age: 30
Gender: M
Info: Australian. Commands an army of wildlife. Is stereotypical. Likes reading Jane Austin novels.












Name: Simone Simone
Age: 17
Gender: F
Info: Scares people with her double name. Nice sense of humour. Has been known to nibble peoples' eyelashes. Hated by camels.



Is it going to be a good year? We don't know, we aren't psychic here at BYE!, but we think this may be fun. Keep watching!

WHO ARE YOU BACKING THIS YEAR? LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW!