BYE! Has learnt of this world exclusive shocking news story that full time serial killer, part time homosexual Dennis Nilson, has become the brand new manager of a London based Zoo after his quick and silent release from prison.
Dennis was ushered in as manger by the Zoo in a silent ceremony, the Zoo said Dennis was chosen to and we quote "keep him out of trouble".
We managed to quickly get a very brief interview with the ex serial killer and we asked him about his new role. "... I used to own 15 ties, now I just wear a clip on...".
Detective Chief Inspector Peter Jay said of the move, "What, they let the sick bastard out of jail!?"
Dennis has been confined to an office in the Zoo where there is a bed and an oven but he has to use the public toilets to clean himself and wash up.
The public have been protesting ever since the news broke, with one protester going as far to say "...I've never been to that Zoo nor have I ever heard of Dennis but I am certainly not going there now...". When questioned as to why he was participating in the protest he simply came back with "Everyone else was doing it, and I didn't want to be left out".
Such is the behaviour of protesters that they even tried setting fire to an Elephant in the Zoo out of protest.
We questioned one zoo keeper about the incident: "You know, I get paid the same whether my boss is Dennis Nilson or Chris Eubank. I think setting fire to an elephant isn't going to solve anything. In fact it will probably make matters worse."
A documentary looking at Dennis as the new Manager of the Zoo will be broadcast on Channel 5 on August 26th at 9pm.
In other news....
"Steven Spielberg reveals truth about himself"
"Leona Lewis plays with herself whilst looking at pasty white man"
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