Aunty Fat Fight's Top 10 Tips To Stay Slim this Summer

Hello there fatties I mean readers, looking for some great ways to stay thin this summer?
Is your bikini getting eaten by your arse? Are the people at work laughing at you? Good because you probably deserve it you fat shit, but despair not Aunty Fat Fight is here to help you lose those stones that you've put on over the years.

Here's my top ten count down.

10. Oh look it's a McDonalds, you want some don't you? That's 10 lashings for being tempted you fat bitch.

9. Use the Gym, it's there. Unless of course you are so fat that you can't stand under your own weight, in which case I highly suggest you kill yourself.

8. Look what I have here, a doggy treat. You want one don't you? You sicken me!

7. Liposuction could be a good idea for you, if you can't be fucked to exercise yourself because you're a lazy shit.

6. Chase after that ice cream van that drives through your road, that will help shed a few pounds.

5. We're half way there.

4. Ask the local kids to roll you down a hill.

3. This doughnut is delicious, oh sorry. Ahem, try swimming but beware the pool may be evacuated because you will be confused for a whale.

2. Do some push ups if that fails just try getting out of bed.

1. If none of these tips help, kill yourself, seriously there's no other hope for you.

I hope you have found my top ten tips helpful, I'll be back soon with some more great health tips just for you BYE! readers.